Recently I was talking with a friend of mine who has been married for a few years now. He and his wife are a fantastically amazing couple that I really enjoy spending time with (even though I haven’t seen them in well over a year). An interesting fact about this couple is they met through a personal ad placed in their local shopping rag in Burlington, Vermont. This was done at a time when dating sites on the interweb didn’t really exist. I’ve often thought about what kind of personal ad I would write for myself if I ever went that route. It would probably go something like this:
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Single guy looking for a betty with an adventurous side. Must be interested in slaying the pow and riding through rock gardens. Lying on the beach is a serious plus (I didn’t say walking on it, I said lying on it, as in not moving because I’ve had too many margaritas. The name Margarita is also a plus). Must enjoy bad jokes and be able to contribute in said regard. Ability to tune snowboards, bikes, and guitars is highly desirable. Ability to be creative in the kitchen is also highly desirable, but doesn’t necessarily require food preparation (but truthfully it really does). Must not wear too much make-up as clowns scare the hell out of me (professional clowns or circus folk in general need not apply. Actually, if the majority of your day is spent under a tent with a capacity of more than four and is moved to a different city every few days by a crew and a flatbed truck, you’re also out. Acrobats may be considered in certain circumstances). Must be old enough to have used an encyclopedia but not so old that you could have contributed to an encyclopedia (heiresses to the Britannica fortune are okay).
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Single guy looking for a betty with an adventurous side. Must be interested in slaying the pow and riding through rock gardens. Lying on the beach is a serious plus (I didn’t say walking on it, I said lying on it, as in not moving because I’ve had too many margaritas. The name Margarita is also a plus). Must enjoy bad jokes and be able to contribute in said regard. Ability to tune snowboards, bikes, and guitars is highly desirable. Ability to be creative in the kitchen is also highly desirable, but doesn’t necessarily require food preparation (but truthfully it really does). Must not wear too much make-up as clowns scare the hell out of me (professional clowns or circus folk in general need not apply. Actually, if the majority of your day is spent under a tent with a capacity of more than four and is moved to a different city every few days by a crew and a flatbed truck, you’re also out. Acrobats may be considered in certain circumstances). Must be old enough to have used an encyclopedia but not so old that you could have contributed to an encyclopedia (heiresses to the Britannica fortune are okay).
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I think that covers the basics. After all, a little mystery is a good thing, isn’t it? While my requirements might seem a bit absurd, I don’t think I’m asking too much. On the other hand, I am still single and one day I might find myself placing such an ad. Maybe I should be a little more flexible. Besides, how many women are really named Margarita?
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1 comment:
Good question!
According to Facebook, more than 500. And three in State College alone.
Search for "Margarita" on Facebook
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