That's Just Stupid

Lately I’ve been working a lot and spending a lot of time on the slopes slaying the sickity pow. This combination has left me feeling very worn down and sleepy. Getting out of bed in the morning has become more and more difficult. After one particularly long day I was talking with a friend of mine and said that I was going to go home and “sleep like a baby.” After a brief moment I realized this is a ridiculous saying.

While I don’t have any kids of my own (that I know of, ZING) I do have seven nieces and nephews. I’ve watched them all grow up and some are still young enough to be considered babies. Although seven occurrences might not be enough for a true scientific sample, I think it’s a sufficient group to quantify the fact that the saying “sleeping like a baby” (or to sleep like a baby) is probably one of the dumbest phrases I’ve ever heard, at least in the context it’s commonly used.

From my (limited) experience, babies usually only sleep for a few hours at a time and then they wake up crying. This typically means one of two things: they’re either hungry and want to eat or they’ve just pooped in their pants and need to be changed. Nothing about this sounds like the type of sleep I’m interested in. I just want to get a solid eight hours (but I’d settle for six) and feel refreshed when I wake up in the morning. Maybe they should change it to “sleep like a newly retired person with no cares or responsibilities anymore and the resources to do as they please” but I guess that doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.