Take Five

No I'm not referring to the late great Dave Brubeck, I'm referring to me, taking a possible break from this little rant I've got going on.  See, for a while now, I've been having issues with my internet service.  While I'm not going to name any names or point any fingers, I will say that the consistency of the connection was less than ideal.

To make a long story short, I had two technicians come to my house, spent hours on the phone with technical support, spent hours on the phone with customer service, and at the end of the day it was going to cost me more to reduce my speed (which I was told would fix my problem).  I took this as a sign that it might be time to part ways with my service provider.  As you might imagine, that was no easy process either.

Now, I'm in the process of getting new internet hooked up, which seems like it is taking more effort than I anticipated.  One service call for installation resulted in the technician telling me that I needed a new line run from the pole to my house, and that he would have to come back later to make that happen.  Apparently it was too late in the night and too cold for him to climb the pole.  I guess the techs don't like working in the dark when it's 18 degrees outside.

So for now, I'm "borrowing" internet from someone in my neighborhood.  It's not the most convenient situation but it works for now.  Of course, this might cause me to miss a post or two in the coming weeks.  But for now, thanks "adam", whoever you are, for letting me use the tubes to get this post up.

What's in a Name

Lately I've been feeling like this blog is kind of a sham.  It started out as one thing, but really never materialized in that regard.  Instead I've talked about just about everything other than stacking cheddar (or any variety of cheese for that matter).  I don't know if this is because I just don't have the energy to come up with new topics that revolve around the snowboarding radicalness that I like to portray, or some other reason.  I have a few thoughts so in no particular order, here is a list.

01 -  I'm too old to really be "hip" in the snowboarding world

02 -  The snowboarding industry isn't quite as lame as I once thought

03 -  I have a girlfriend that doesn't let me have fun

04 -  I lie about my girlfriend not letting me have fun

05 -  I just don't care enough to spend the energy

06 -  There hasn't been enough snow for me to consistently ride

07 -  I don't like cold weather

08 -  I'm too slothy to pull off radical maneuvers

09 -  I'm too scared to try radical maneuvers

10 -  My gear is too old to be radical

Anyway, I could continue with a boring list of things but I'm not.  I just know that this blog is going in a different direction.  If this continues, maybe I'll have to change the name to "Stacking the Couch."  Fortunately though, there has been good snow lately and it actually feels like winter in that it's been wicked cold.  Hopefully it keeps up so I can get in some quality slope time and maybe get back some of that awesomeness that I once had (seriously, I really did).

Grab On

So a couple of posts ago, I mentioned (and included a picture) my wicked awesome new handlebar mustache.  Over the past few weeks of having said awesome handlebar mustache I've received a lot of mixed reactions.  That is, some people really like it and some people really don't.

While I haven't been conducting an actual survey, I think it's fair to say that the women I've asked typically don't like it (but aren't surprised that I have it).  This (unfortunately) includes my girlfriend.  On the other hand, I've received a lot of compliments from guys that think it's fantastic.  In most cases, these accolades have been unsolicited, but I'll take all the positive feedback I can get.  

I think it generally breaks down like this: the ladies don't like it because I look like a 70's porn star (not my analogy) even though I've done nothing to encourage this comparison.  The guys like it because they either can't grow a solid mustache or they aren't allowed to grow one.  I can only assume their significant others exert more influence over them than mine.  

As the weather continues to change and the cold air moves in I think I'll have to give up the mustache and grow back the beard.  It will be more comfortable when I'm on the slopes this year  and quite possibly (and more importantly) there will be one less reason for my girlfriend to question what she's doing with me.  

Interruptus

Since the inception of this blog, I have been very diligent about posting something every Sunday evening.  Sure there have been some exceptions here and there but that has usually been because I was out of town or it was a holiday or something significant.  It didn't matter if I had something interesting to say or not, I still posted.  

This past Sunday was one of those rare exceptions to the rule.  As you're probably aware, today is Monday and I'm just now posting.  I would like to say that I had some grand reason for the delay but the simple matter is that I didn't have internet service at my house.  That's right; the reason why I didn't post yesterday was because my internet was down and I didn't have the motivation to go somewhere else just to get service.  After all, was this post really worth running around in the middle of the night to some cafe just to upload a post?  I think not.

Branching Out

So I've decided to start my own business.  While I'm not quitting my 9 to 5er just yet, I am in the initial stages of planning this little venture.  As with most good companies, the hardest part about getting the ball rolling is coming up with a cool name.  

I spent a goodly part of this past weekend trying to figure out what would be a good name for a business.  After all, there are plenty of bad names already taken and I want to make sure the name I choose has just the right amount of coolness, description, and room to play.  I'm trying to use words that aren't too boring but yet aren't so big that the overall name is difficult to say let alone spell (especially since I'm a terrible speller).  

Ultimately though, it's not just the words that are chosen for the name.  You also have to take into consideration how the name might appear in a logo and let's not forget the type of initials a name could end up with.  I would be willing to bet that the Sink Hole Investigation Technologies, LLC. or Delta Industrial Cyber Kinetic Solutions, Inc. would be okay with different initials for their letterhead.  

Maybe someday I'll be able to parlay this little venture that I'm considering into something big that will allow me to enjoy additional free time throughout my day and let me work my own schedule.  I'm not setting a timeline for this just yet because there is still a lot of initial work that needs to be done.  Someday though, I'll hopefully be able to turn this into the best job of all; an early retirement.

Frankenstorm

So if you live anywhere on the east coast and you have not battened down the hatches; stocked up on cases of canned soups and other non-perishable foods; set aside no less than 27 gallons of water; then you are not ready for Frankenstorm.  What is Frankenstorm you ask?  I'll put it to you like this:  imagine if a hurricane, a tornado, a tsunami, and a dust devil all went out and got really drunk on water.  Then, after waking up very slowly, they stumbled around puking up rain everywhere they looked.  It would be a little more severe than that.  

While I have no plans to build an arc, I'm not counting that out as an option.  Schools in the area are already closing, refuse pick-up is already being rescheduled, and storm drains are being cleared in anticipation of the deluge that is about to ensue over the next several days.  The weather people are predicting significant rain and wind over the next several days and possible power outages for the about a week.  

While it's too early to tell what is actually going to happen, by tomorrow we should either be in the thick of it, or cursing the weather folks for convincing me that I needed to buy those 200 cans of sardines "just in case."  Either way, I'm hoping to survive the onslaught and make it through to next week with little water to bail out of my basement.  

The Greatest Place on Earth

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I spent last weekend in the 'burgh.  While it was a really great weekend filled with lots of activities, there was only one thing I was looking forward to doing while there.  I have been in the market for some new furniture lately so I figured while I was in a city of significant size, I would visit IKEA.  

For those of you not familiar with IKEA, first I'd like to say I'm sorry because you don't know what you're missing.  I'll describe it like this; imagine that some Swedish folks got inside your head and created furniture and living utensils that were exactly what you would design if you had a stitch of creativity.  Granted, they don't have EVERYTHING you could imagine but it's fairly close.  Most of it  comes flat packed with an instruction book that contains an adorable cartoon man to guide you through the assembly of your chosen piece of furniture.  

Anyway, so last weekend, even though I has mere minutes away from IKEA I was thwarted in my efforts to get there.  That's a story in itself but the bottom line is that I didn't get to go.  Instead, I decided to drive to Baltimore this past weekend and check out that IKEA.  While most people think that the SC is a hip an metropolitan town, it's really not.  Therefore it does not qualify for the type of location that would host an IKEA.  Thus, I drove to Baltimore and visited some friends and family along the way.  

The upside to the trip (besides having my parents treat me to sushi); I was able to pick out some sweet new pieces for my house.  The downside, I'm going to have to drive back to Baltimore to get it.  I realize that seems like a gigantic hassle just for a few bits of pressed wood that I have to assemble myself, but let's face it, those Swedes really have this whole home furnishings thing figured out. 

Under Reaction

So two weeks ago I wrote about a little digger I took on my mountain bike.  It was nothing out of the ordinary for me as I've wrecked on my bike before and intend to wreck again (although I don't try to make that the outcome of any ride).  I was sore for about a week but after that all was well, or so I thought.

This past week I was driving home from the office when my phone rang.  It was my mother.  She was calling because she read that post and was worried about how I was doing and wanted to make sure I was okay.  When my mother inquired about my current condition, I began to laugh hysterically.  To this, I believe my mother was taken aback.  

First, she asked if I had made the whole thing up.  When I told her that I hadn't made it up, she asked why I was laughing.  What I found so funny about this exchange was the fact that while my mother was worried, she wasn't worried enough to call right away.  Instead, she waited about ten days before being concerned enough to inquire about my well-being.  For some reason I found this really funny.  

Sometimes I guess it's the little things that really matter and this complete lack of concern while being incredibly concerned was humorous to me.  In other news, Sean and Lucy had their baby.  A sweet little girl.  So congratulations guys for your new bundle of joy.  While I'm extremely elated for the new parents, I might have just lost a reader.  

Better Stories

So I've been spending a lot of time this weekend thinking about what I would write for my blog this week.  In order to gain some inspiration I checked out a blog that I often read although doesn't get updated as often as it use to.  The author is named Steevo.  That's it, just Steevo.  Sure he has a last name but anyone that knows Steevo knows him only as Steevo.  

I met Steevo a few years back in Pittsburgh.  He is friends and teammates with Jerry and is a really funny and interesting guy.  Whenever I'm in the 'burgh Jerry and I can always count on Steevo to join us for a ride.  

Anyway, Steevo's blog usually has some funny race story or interesting bit of race antics that involve traveling to races.  This past week his post took on a bit more of a serious tone.  Instead of coming up with my own post, I'm just going to tell you to read his because it's one of those things that's worth a read.  Check it out HERE and see for yourself.  

Take it to the Bank

So Sunday is early this week.  I know that's not actually possible if you're one the few Julian, Lunar, or Hebrew (you're welcome Jerry)  calendaric scholars out there, but it's true.  Of course it's only true if you're one of the more ardent believers in the governmental calendar that gives just about all of us banking types the day off on Monday for Labor Day; therefore tomorrow is my Sunday.  By default, today has been deemed Saturday.  That's right, I get an extra day of being super (and quite possibly the duper; if the mood strikes) awesome.  

Tune in tomorrow for a blog post that will rock your world.  Or maybe one that disappoints.  I guess you'll have to check to see which one it is...

Slothy Blah

It might not be completely obvious when people first meet me but I like to think that I'm a fairly active person.  While I like to think that I'm more active than most of the people in this increasingly rotund country of ours, lately I've been feeling more doughy than normal.  There are several factors that I attribute this trend, however I think it's about time reverse this (hopefully) momentary lapse in fitness.

I feel like most of this started about a month ago when I started hanging out with a girl.  We would get together and have some drinks or have some food or go to a movie or just hang out.  I was foregoing time that I would normally spend on my bike to spend time with her which was not good for my midsection.  This was then followed by a vacation (of sorts) to Florida where I spent a week eating, drinking, and sitting on the beach.  Sure I was riding my cruiser around but it provides surprisingly little fitness when your main goal is trying to go "no hands and no feet" for as long as you can.  

Now that I'm back to my normal day-to-day in the SC it seems as though I've had some trouble getting back to being active.  I've been bogged down with work stuff and meetings, I've been trying to finish up some house projects, and it's been raining a bunch over the past few weeks.  All of this has kept me from my bike and therefore kept me from getting back in shape.  Unfortunately the next few weeks are going to be difficult for me to carve out some time to be active, but I'll have to do what it takes so I can get back on the bike, get back to eating normal, and hopefully get back to fitting comfortably in my pants.  

Tchotchke-Fest

So part of last week and into the past weekend was the annual festival in the SC where people from all over the country come to town and try to sell their "art."  Fortunately for these people  two things hold true.  Art is very subjective and apparently a whole hell of a lot of people seem to like spending a lot of money on bric-a-brac.  

While I do enjoy browsing around the various booths to see what people have to display, the majority of these knickknacks are much more high-brow then my simpleton way of life will allow.  To put it another way, unless you're planning to spend between roughly $75 and $250 for a metal flower, a bird feeder, a wooden spoon, a purse made from an old couch, or a hand carved rock then you might want to stay away from this particular event (and that's just the low end of the price spectrum).  Sure, there are a lot of really great gewgaw that someone spent a lot of time creating, but about 98% of it is priced beyond what I'm comfortable shelling out (kettle corn not included).  

While there are some trinkets that I would consider buying, the biggest reason (aside from laying out the cash) is that I don't know what I would do with my purchase of choice.  Most of the bauble seems like something that I would just display on a table or in some corner of my house.  Then it just becomes one more item that I'd have to dust, and with all the mess I've been making in my house lately I don't need anything else to capture dust.  That would just be as foolish as spending $175 on an eight inch wooden plate.

Hello Ladies

Today is Mother's Day.  I know that because it says so on my calendar.  This is the one day out of the year where moms all over the world get to sit back, relax, and forget all their responsibilities for the entire day.  Typically, the men in their lives take care of all the day-to-day activities so that moms can have the day off.  Personally, I think giving moms even one day off every year is entirely too much.

The way I see it, moms are typically the voice of reason and keep us menfolk out of trouble.  Sure, I had some disagreements with my mother when I was growing up and some punishments were handed down but it was typically for my own good.  I would accept my sentence even when my mother was completely wrong.  The bottom line is, we need moms to do their mom-thing twenty four hours a day.  Some of the people I know can do some amazingly ridiculous things in just one day and need that motherly supervision all the time (It's possible that I might fall into this category).  

So for all the current and future moms out there, thanks for everything.  We couldn't do it without you and you should be celebrated every day of the year; not just one Sunday in May.  Luckily, Father's Day is far enough away that I can probably recycle this post.  After all, dads are kind of important too.  

Dating Days; Part 6

I’ll assume it comes as no surprise to anyone that after last week’s debacle of an outing, I had to bid farewell to Estelle.  She said some things that weren’t all together appropriate and I can’t really see that continuing down a good road. While ending the relationship seemed like an easy choice, I wasn’t expecting it go the way it did.  See, I figured that since it took so long to get Estelle to go out with me, she would be more than happy to let me go.  That was, unfortunately, not the case.  

After I broke the news to Estelle I was met by some exacerbated disagreement.  She was beside herself to say the least and was quite shocked to be hearing me end things with her.  In an odd twist, it turns out that the past five weeks had made Estelle start to like me more than she expected.  It was actually more than I expected too because the day after I ended things with her she called me and asked for another chance.  It was kind of surreal.

For the next several days she would call and I would foolishly answer only to hear her talk about what a mistake she made and that I should give her another chance.  I resisted the urge to go out with her again and continued to politely let her down.  I knew things were getting way out of control when Estelle’s roommate Diane called me.  I guess Estelle was more upset with this turn of events than I expected.

After talking with Diane for a few minutes and hearing her side of this story I was reluctantly convinced to get together with her.  It was the typical, “Estelle is a better person than you think and I’ll tell you why” routine.  I figured I could handle a  Saturday afternoon coffee with Diane and hoped that this might end things once and for all.  It had already been a long week of breaking things off with Estelle and I was ready for it to be over for good.

Saturday I met up with Diane at the local coffee shop and after a few minutes of listening to her I realized two things.  First, I wasn’t going to go out with Estelle anymore because she, like most women, had a touch of the crazies (sorry ladies but it’s true to some degree with all of you).  Second, and maybe most importantly, Diane is spectacular.  I think I might see if Diane wants to go out for dinner sometime.  Of course I might be better off taking a break from the ladies for a bit.

Dating Days; Part 5

I’m not exactly sure how to explain it, but things with Estelle may have taken a slight step backwards this weekend.  Did I say slight?  I maybe should have said massive.  The best part though (if there can actually be one) is that it wasn’t something that I did or said.

I’ve had several occasions to woo Estelle and started getting into her “good graces” so I thought it might be time to introduce her to some friends.  It just so happened that my friends Jerry and Caroline were coming up for the weekend to stay with me.  Jerry and Caroline are great people and very fun to hang out with so I thought Estelle would enjoy their company too.  In turn, I could use Jerry and Caroline as a barometer to see if Estelle was actually worth all the trouble I’ve been going through lately.  

Saturday night the three of us met Estelle out for dinner.  We were having a great time, laughing and joking and all that stuff.  I took this as a good sign but then things got weird.  About an hour into the meal Estelle noticed someone walking over to our table and she said, “Oh no.”  “I can’t believe he’s here.”  As I looked over to see who she was talking about, I noticed a man standing at our table and he said, “Hello Estelle.” “It’s good to see you.”  After some uncomfortable small talk Estelle informed us that this fine upstanding fellow (let’s call him Dave) was her ex-fiancé.  

Estelle continued to tell us that she broke things off with Dave because she found out that he was Jewish and couldn’t, as she put it, “Be with someone who was stingy.”  As soon as I realized she actually did, in fact, just say that; I looked over at Jerry who was looking back at me.  See, it just so happens that Jerry is Jewish and I guess didn’t take to kindly to this knock on his entire religious upbringing.  

After what seemed like an eternity of uncomfortable silence, I changed the subject and we continued on with the evening, except there was a bit less jovialness than before.  Jerry didn’t freak out (although he could have) and after we parted ways with Estelle to go back to my house,  I got an earful, and it was about as I expected.  I don’t know if she was serious about what she said but I plan to find out.  Needless to say, Jerry and Caroline are not fans of Estelle so I might have to reconsider this relationship.  

Dating Days; Part 4

These past four weeks have been exciting and depressing, but most of all they have been very informative and educational. As I mentioned a few weeks back I managed to get myself into what some might call a dating situation, but what I like to call a relationship. Granted, it hasn’t been the most conventional of relationships but then again, I’m not the most conventional of daters.

So in my last post I mentioned that the apple of my eye (although I wouldn’t tell her that) Estelle and I were scheduled for a follow-up date. This would hopefully make up for the travesty that was the first bowling/dinner event we engaged in. As previously noted, the plan for this new date was to take in some dinner and a movie. Of course, if my past dating life is any indication of future doings, things were not going to go as smoothly as I would have hoped. And alas, they didn’t.

Wednesday rolled around and I called Estelle to make arrangements for our Thursday dinner and movie “date.” I’d been hearing all about this new flick called the Hunger Games that is supposed to be just about the bees knees so I thought that would be a hip and cool talkie to take in post dinner. I saw in the paper that they were having a special showing on Thursday so I thought I would impress my lady-friend by taking her to the first showing of a hot new Hollywood movie. This would all be preceded by a nice (but not too nice) dinner at a nearby sports bar type place. That way, the random sports could provide some bits of distraction during dinner if the conversation was lagging.

I hope you’re sitting down because what I’m about to tell you seems so fantastic that it could only be made up, yet it’s sadly true. In my focused attempt to make up for the disgrace that was our first “date” I neglected to realize that the entire country is hip-deep in March Madness and a sports bar on game night might be a little raucous. And by a little I mean full on crazytown.

Four college basketball games; all at the same time; and lots of drunk sports fans didn’t make for the most inviting atmosphere for a date. We did spend lots of time making fun of the rabid sports fans but it wasn’t an ideal scenario. More importantly though, dinner took about an hour and a half longer than expected so the movie was definitely out as an option. That turned out to be okay because what I thought was a Thursday opening was really a midnight showing therefore it was technically Friday and I didn’t think Estelle would want to be out until two in the morning at a movie.

While things could have gone better, they weren’t terrible, and that is a plus in my book. If I’ve learned anything from this experience it’s this; check the times on your movies and make sure there are no sporting events when you plan a date at a sports bar. I realize they seem obvious, but when you’re only focused on the date itself, it’s easy to let some of the specifics fall by the wayside. I plan to give Estelle a call later on this week and maybe we’ll get this movie thing in for real. My feeling is that I’m finally wearing her down to the point where she thinks I might just be clever enough to spend some quality time with. Yeah, I’m that guy.

Dating Days; Part 3

In the ongoing saga of my dating prowess and the current person of interest in my life, things have taken a turn I didn’t expect. As I previously mentioned I was in the process of wooing one Estelle and setting up a second date. Unfortunately I was having difficulty getting in contact with Estelle. One of my astute readers mentioned last week that I should send several more text messages to try and coax Estelle into another outing with me. Since said commenter was a woman I thought her advice had to be solid and I went with it.

Well, four consecutive text messages later I finally got a response from Estelle. Of course, it was not what I expected. First, I was met with some unfriendly words about how I needed to stop bothering her. Then, after some charming explanation by me I was able to convince Estelle to give me a second chance and a second date. I decided I would play it cool and take her for dinner and movie. That way, if the dinner conversation was lacking, we could at least have the time during the movie where we wouldn’t have to worry about coming up with things to talk about.

Unfortunately our schedules have precluded us from conducting said date until next week. We’re going out next Thursday so that means I should either have really great news to tell you next weekend or a few depressing paragraphs about what went wrong. Either way, I think I managed to get back in Estelle’s good graces. I guess a little persistence does pay off.

Dating Days; Part 2

So as I mentioned in my last post, I went out on an interesting date with one Estelle. Things didn’t really go as planned since I forgot my wallet and then decided to make up for it by leaving a check at her house. Well, as I’ve recently learned that may have been a mistake.

Earlier this week I called Estelle to see if she had received my check to which she replied that she had. I was happy about that and asked her if it would be okay if she didn’t cash it until next week, since I was a little tight until my next paycheck. I couldn’t really tell if she was put off by that request because her response was difficult to gauge (being on the phone and all). Of course things seemed a bit more obvious when I asked her out for a second date.

After a brief and uncomfortable pause, I heard the stutter of a person that didn’t really know how to respond to a simple yes or no question. This could only mean one thing; Estelle was looking for an easy way to let me down. At first I was a little bummed out but then I decided it was her loss and I got right back on the proverbial horse. I went back to the grocery store to find another potential date (and to buy groceries of course).

As if lightening were striking twice, I walked down the frozen foods isle and once again spied another possible date for me. This time, however, I decided to keep on walking. Instead, I went home and called Estelle again to see if she really was sure that she didn’t want to go out again. I left her a voicemail and then followed it up with a text message just to cover all my bases. I have a good feeling that she’s going to call me back.

Dating Days; Part 1

So this weekend I did something I haven’t done in a long time. I went on a date. So I should start out by saying that I hadn’t been on a date in a long time prior to this but since I’m a man about town I figured I would give it a go. After all, how bad could it be?

I should probably start by telling you how I met the recipient of my date. So there I was, in the grocery store, going about my business of buying food. I was walking down the frozen foods isle and noticed a rather attractive woman seemingly lost among the freezer cases. By the look on her face I could tell she was unable to find what she wanted. As I approached her I noticed she was not wearing any rings (which is a very important thing to look for) so I thought it would be okay to try out a line from a movie that Steve Martin made famous.

I approached this stately maiden and said, “Excuse me but I don’t think you should be in here.” She looked at me and in a slightly surprised tone said, “Oh really?” “And why is that?” This was exactly the set-up I was hoping for so I could then follow up my original statement by saying, “Because you’re going to melt all this stuff.” Now at this point there was one of two ways this could have continued. She could have been completely disgusted and ignored me, or she could have given me a cute little laugh which would allow me to continue my charming ways. In this case she chose the latter (I’m such a pimp).

So after a few minutes of small talk, getting her phone number, and finding out her name; Estelle and I had a date this weekend. I think things went pretty well but I’m not sure how she felt. I played the chivalrous guy and brought her chocolates and flowers when I picked her up. From there we went to the bowling alley which also serves food so I felt good for mixing dinner and entertainment together in one place. Of course I forgot my wallet so Estelle ended up paying for everything. I felt bad about that so I went back to her house the next day and dropped off a check to pay her back for everything. She wasn’t home so I slid it under her door. I think I’ll call her later this week to see if she wants to go out again sometime.

Revolve

It was my birthday yesterday.  I’m now a bit older; yet I feel less wise.  For some reason age and wisdom don’t seem to run parallel courses; at least with me.  If they did I’d be brilliant, but that’s not the case.   I’m just glad I’m friends with people that are infinitely smarter than I.  And the best part is they are primarily chicks so thanks Nikki, Ieva, Cathy, Spring, Betty, and all the rest of you ladies for keeping me on the up and up for all these years.  I’ve only gotten this far because of yinz.