Ring - a - Ling

Well, I don't have much to say except today is the last day of 2012 and the eve of the beginning of 2013.  It's been a long year a lot has happened but it's finally over and a new year can start.  I'm ready to get in going as big things are on the horizon for 2013.  Hopefully I'll have lots of great updates for everyone and lots of interesting posts to read.  Some of them may even be true.

Happy New Year's Eve everyone!

Sleepy Time

With the chaos that is the holiday season looming close (as we sit on the eve of Christmas) I decided to make a trip to visit my parents.  As with most holidays, all of my siblings and their families would also be joining us.  This means that no less than 18 people may or may not be staying in a house that was originally built to provide shelter for about five.  This means several things, with the most important (in my opinion) being identifying suitable sleeping arrangements for everyone.  

While this may seem like an easy proposition, it's more difficult than you might imagine.  For the most part, the shorties will sleep anywhere; in a tree, under a table, in a chair, you name it, they will sleep.  I, on the other hand, prefer a bit more in my sleeping need.  No I don't require a big fluffy bed, but one thing that is critical for me is have the space cool or even cold.  I cannot sleep in the heat, and with 18 people (as noted earlier) in the same house with the food being cooked constantly, that tends to raise the overall temperature of the home quite significantly.  

With this in mind, I began to search my parents' house for the most suitable location for me to get in a solid night of sack time.  For reference, the house is a one story ranch with a basement.  This means that the main floor is obviously out (because it reaches temperatures upwards of 75 degrees).  The kids typically play in the basement so the heaters are cranked to make sure it's warm enough.  I was running out of options.

As I walked onto the porch to grab another beer and ponder my options, it hit me.  I was going to sleep on the porch.  After a little searching for adequate sleeping materials I managed to put together a fairly decent bed.  It wasn't the best, but an old military sleeping bag, a few seat cushions, and a pillow provided me with one of the best nights of sleep I've had at my parents house in a long time.

Grab On

So a couple of posts ago, I mentioned (and included a picture) my wicked awesome new handlebar mustache.  Over the past few weeks of having said awesome handlebar mustache I've received a lot of mixed reactions.  That is, some people really like it and some people really don't.

While I haven't been conducting an actual survey, I think it's fair to say that the women I've asked typically don't like it (but aren't surprised that I have it).  This (unfortunately) includes my girlfriend.  On the other hand, I've received a lot of compliments from guys that think it's fantastic.  In most cases, these accolades have been unsolicited, but I'll take all the positive feedback I can get.  

I think it generally breaks down like this: the ladies don't like it because I look like a 70's porn star (not my analogy) even though I've done nothing to encourage this comparison.  The guys like it because they either can't grow a solid mustache or they aren't allowed to grow one.  I can only assume their significant others exert more influence over them than mine.  

As the weather continues to change and the cold air moves in I think I'll have to give up the mustache and grow back the beard.  It will be more comfortable when I'm on the slopes this year  and quite possibly (and more importantly) there will be one less reason for my girlfriend to question what she's doing with me.  

Interruptus

Since the inception of this blog, I have been very diligent about posting something every Sunday evening.  Sure there have been some exceptions here and there but that has usually been because I was out of town or it was a holiday or something significant.  It didn't matter if I had something interesting to say or not, I still posted.  

This past Sunday was one of those rare exceptions to the rule.  As you're probably aware, today is Monday and I'm just now posting.  I would like to say that I had some grand reason for the delay but the simple matter is that I didn't have internet service at my house.  That's right; the reason why I didn't post yesterday was because my internet was down and I didn't have the motivation to go somewhere else just to get service.  After all, was this post really worth running around in the middle of the night to some cafe just to upload a post?  I think not.

Declines

As noted in my previous post, last weekend was the 30th running of the infamous Dirty Dozen.  I survived the ride and managed to make it up all the hills without falling (but not without issue).  Ever since the ride however, I've felt very unmotivated and very sluggish and I'm not sure why.

In the past when I've done big ride weekends or been in races where I'm redlined for an extended period of time,  I've had a few days of lethargy and then I'm back to normal.  This past week has been a complete departure from that way of feeling.  I've spent the entire week being exhausted without reason.  I've been asleep (usually on my couch) several hours earlier than I normally fall asleep.  It's even gotten to the point where I'm having trouble getting out of bed (and not because I don't want to go to work).  

I realize a lot of this is trivial and I should be back to normal before long.  Soon I'll be riding again (as long as the weather permits).  Soon I'll be staying up late during the week.  And maybe, just maybe I'll grow my beard back thus getting rid of the super awesome mustache that I'm getting a bit too comfortable with.   

30 Dees

This past Saturday was the 30th running of a little known "race" up thirteen of the steepest hills in Pittsburgh.  The reason I put the word race in quotations is because the Dirty Dozen is only a race for about ten people and a day of survival for the rest.  This year was my third running and, in true DD fashion, there were cold temperatures, lots of windy spots, and snow.  Fortunately for me, because of road construction one of the hills was not on the route so we were down to only twelve hills, but that was still going to be about eleven more than I actually wanted to do.  

Like all good DD mornings I was a basket of nerves.  The day itself was going to be no different than the previous two years except I was on a new bike with different gearing, I was well under prepared physically, and the road conditions due to the weather were a general unknown (when a significant portion of steep riding is on slippery or icy roads, things can go seriously wrong).

The long and short of the day was this:  It snowed on and off almost the whole day and the temperatures hovered in the mid thirties (so it wasn't cold enough for the snow to stick).  Riding as hard as you can to get up a hill makes you hot and sweaty.  Standing on top of a hill when you're hot and sweaty makes you very cold.  Slippery roads lead to lots of falls and wrecking (fortunately not for me).  

I learned a few things on this ride.  The first thing I learned was that I need to be in better shape if I plan to ride my current bike up these hills again next year.  The second thing I learned was that riding up really steep hills wears down your arms almost as much as your legs.  The third thing I learned was that mustaches are not as warm as beards.  The last thing I learned, and possibly the most important, is that if you're going to fall over in a slippery corner, make sure Jerry isn't there to see it because he'll yell at you loudly to go back to the bottom and ride the hill again.  After all, those are the rules.

T - Minus...

With time running out, I've resigned myself to the fact that I will not be in the shape I was hoping to be in for the impending DD.  Since the shape I am currently resembles a pear, I am going to change my plans and prepare for a more intense degree of pain than I want.  It seems to just make sense.

The way I figure it, I'm not going to be racing nor did I ever have plans to make it a race.  There are plenty of faster people than me to take care of that issue.  As long as I can keep turning the pedals over I'll be fine.  It just might take me longer than I really want.  Fortunately though, hill six is currently under construction so it's not in play.  That means I will only need to climb an even dozen hills.

I think I'm only fooling myself into thinking that twelve hills instead of thirteen will somehow be easier,  but I'll take any little mental breaks I can get.  In reality, I'll probably suffer more because of this little notion but only time will tell.  I just hope the weather is nice so I can enjoy some aspect of the day.

Train Wrecks

So I'm just under two weeks from my third installment of the DD and suffice it to so say, I'm a touch worried.  I'm worried about my bike, I'm worried about the weather, but most importantly, I'm worried about how out of shape I currently am.  This is supposed to be the year I get the dot next to my name in Chew's big book of DD's, but that only happens if I finish.  

See, earlier this year, before I went on my little junket to Florida, I was riding the hell out of my bikes.  I had spent the winter on my trainer trying to get in shape and had been logging solid miles for several months.  Some of my friends even thought I was too skinny; which was a compliment for me.  Then, after a week on the beach drinking margaritas and rolling a cruiser around the islands, I returned to reality and got both fat and lazy.  Yeah that's right, both (but at least my neck is still tight).

Now, I'm doing all I can to eek out some semblance of a training program in the last week and a few days before I embark on suffer-fest 2012.  With any luck I'll make it through this year's event without any significant issues but at this point I'm only 62% optimistic of that occurring.  Fortunately for me, this year there will only be twelve hills on the course as one of them is under construction.  This is beneficial in that I won't have as much pain inflicted upon me, but it might also mean that I don't get my dot.  After all, if it's not the full course, I didn't really do it.  That would be the most painful part of all...

Branching Out

So I've decided to start my own business.  While I'm not quitting my 9 to 5er just yet, I am in the initial stages of planning this little venture.  As with most good companies, the hardest part about getting the ball rolling is coming up with a cool name.  

I spent a goodly part of this past weekend trying to figure out what would be a good name for a business.  After all, there are plenty of bad names already taken and I want to make sure the name I choose has just the right amount of coolness, description, and room to play.  I'm trying to use words that aren't too boring but yet aren't so big that the overall name is difficult to say let alone spell (especially since I'm a terrible speller).  

Ultimately though, it's not just the words that are chosen for the name.  You also have to take into consideration how the name might appear in a logo and let's not forget the type of initials a name could end up with.  I would be willing to bet that the Sink Hole Investigation Technologies, LLC. or Delta Industrial Cyber Kinetic Solutions, Inc. would be okay with different initials for their letterhead.  

Maybe someday I'll be able to parlay this little venture that I'm considering into something big that will allow me to enjoy additional free time throughout my day and let me work my own schedule.  I'm not setting a timeline for this just yet because there is still a lot of initial work that needs to be done.  Someday though, I'll hopefully be able to turn this into the best job of all; an early retirement.

Frankenstorm

So if you live anywhere on the east coast and you have not battened down the hatches; stocked up on cases of canned soups and other non-perishable foods; set aside no less than 27 gallons of water; then you are not ready for Frankenstorm.  What is Frankenstorm you ask?  I'll put it to you like this:  imagine if a hurricane, a tornado, a tsunami, and a dust devil all went out and got really drunk on water.  Then, after waking up very slowly, they stumbled around puking up rain everywhere they looked.  It would be a little more severe than that.  

While I have no plans to build an arc, I'm not counting that out as an option.  Schools in the area are already closing, refuse pick-up is already being rescheduled, and storm drains are being cleared in anticipation of the deluge that is about to ensue over the next several days.  The weather people are predicting significant rain and wind over the next several days and possible power outages for the about a week.  

While it's too early to tell what is actually going to happen, by tomorrow we should either be in the thick of it, or cursing the weather folks for convincing me that I needed to buy those 200 cans of sardines "just in case."  Either way, I'm hoping to survive the onslaught and make it through to next week with little water to bail out of my basement.  

The Greatest Place on Earth

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I spent last weekend in the 'burgh.  While it was a really great weekend filled with lots of activities, there was only one thing I was looking forward to doing while there.  I have been in the market for some new furniture lately so I figured while I was in a city of significant size, I would visit IKEA.  

For those of you not familiar with IKEA, first I'd like to say I'm sorry because you don't know what you're missing.  I'll describe it like this; imagine that some Swedish folks got inside your head and created furniture and living utensils that were exactly what you would design if you had a stitch of creativity.  Granted, they don't have EVERYTHING you could imagine but it's fairly close.  Most of it  comes flat packed with an instruction book that contains an adorable cartoon man to guide you through the assembly of your chosen piece of furniture.  

Anyway, so last weekend, even though I has mere minutes away from IKEA I was thwarted in my efforts to get there.  That's a story in itself but the bottom line is that I didn't get to go.  Instead, I decided to drive to Baltimore this past weekend and check out that IKEA.  While most people think that the SC is a hip an metropolitan town, it's really not.  Therefore it does not qualify for the type of location that would host an IKEA.  Thus, I drove to Baltimore and visited some friends and family along the way.  

The upside to the trip (besides having my parents treat me to sushi); I was able to pick out some sweet new pieces for my house.  The downside, I'm going to have to drive back to Baltimore to get it.  I realize that seems like a gigantic hassle just for a few bits of pressed wood that I have to assemble myself, but let's face it, those Swedes really have this whole home furnishings thing figured out. 

A Practice in Lists

So this post is a day late from my normal schedule because I was traveling this weekend.  I spent a few days down in the 'burgh with Jerry and Bunny just to unplug for a few days and enjoy some time away from the SC.  We rode bikes and talked about future plans for travel and did some sightseeing around the city (even though I've seen most of the sights already).  

One thing we discussed was the upcoming DD.  This came up because I've been a bit less than aggressive in my training for this little event.  In particular, before this weekend I hadn't been on a bike in about three weeks; since my wreck.  Because of this, I jotted down a few things that I need to make sure I take care of between now and then.  In no particular order here is my list:

1)     Ride - (although this seems obvious, I need to write it down just so I don't forget)

2)     Get my bike ready - (why you might ask?  See the reason above)

3)     Shave off about 10 lbs - (some might dispute the need for this but I think it will help)

4)     Trim my beard - (this may help with number 3)

5)     Prepare to suffer - (this isn't so much for the ride as it is for the entire trip)

While this isn't an all inclusive list, it's a start.  I have a few weeks yet to work at this so I'll try to balance this list with the growing list of house projects that has been accumulating.  Sometimes it's not getting the list completed as much as it's getting a few items removed from the list.  Ideally it will be items one and three from above, but I'd be okay with completing any of this little "to-do."

Under Reaction

So two weeks ago I wrote about a little digger I took on my mountain bike.  It was nothing out of the ordinary for me as I've wrecked on my bike before and intend to wreck again (although I don't try to make that the outcome of any ride).  I was sore for about a week but after that all was well, or so I thought.

This past week I was driving home from the office when my phone rang.  It was my mother.  She was calling because she read that post and was worried about how I was doing and wanted to make sure I was okay.  When my mother inquired about my current condition, I began to laugh hysterically.  To this, I believe my mother was taken aback.  

First, she asked if I had made the whole thing up.  When I told her that I hadn't made it up, she asked why I was laughing.  What I found so funny about this exchange was the fact that while my mother was worried, she wasn't worried enough to call right away.  Instead, she waited about ten days before being concerned enough to inquire about my well-being.  For some reason I found this really funny.  

Sometimes I guess it's the little things that really matter and this complete lack of concern while being incredibly concerned was humorous to me.  In other news, Sean and Lucy had their baby.  A sweet little girl.  So congratulations guys for your new bundle of joy.  While I'm extremely elated for the new parents, I might have just lost a reader.  

Better Stories

So I've been spending a lot of time this weekend thinking about what I would write for my blog this week.  In order to gain some inspiration I checked out a blog that I often read although doesn't get updated as often as it use to.  The author is named Steevo.  That's it, just Steevo.  Sure he has a last name but anyone that knows Steevo knows him only as Steevo.  

I met Steevo a few years back in Pittsburgh.  He is friends and teammates with Jerry and is a really funny and interesting guy.  Whenever I'm in the 'burgh Jerry and I can always count on Steevo to join us for a ride.  

Anyway, Steevo's blog usually has some funny race story or interesting bit of race antics that involve traveling to races.  This past week his post took on a bit more of a serious tone.  Instead of coming up with my own post, I'm just going to tell you to read his because it's one of those things that's worth a read.  Check it out HERE and see for yourself.  

Oh to the Bee

Over the bars, often referred to as OTB, is not just a bar on the South Side.  It also occurs when you are riding a bike (typically a mountain bike) and you decide for one reason or another, to go over your handle bars.  Now, there is typically only one way this happens and when it has happened to me it's never been intentional.  Usually when one goes over their bars they are riding down something steep; drop the front wheel a bit too much or bury it into something; and have their weight too far forward.  This results of this are you rotating around the axis of your front wheel therefore going over your bars and onto the ground. 

The magnitude of going over the bars can vary greatly; mostly based on the amount of speed and the steepness of the angle of approach.  I've experienced several varieties of going OTB from the extreme where I ended up launching about six feet off the front of my bike (on my first ride after I moved to the SC) to the benign where I was able to grab a tree in the middle of the forward momentum thus allowing me to gently fall to the ground.  This weekend I decided to take a trip over the bars with a little more pizazz.  

So Sunday was the annual fall group ride for the local mountain bike club.  We met at R.B. Winter State Park to ride trails that I have never been on.  We were on this super fun downhill stretch that was steep but not bad.  The terrain changed from loose baby heads to giant boulders in a big washed out area.  These trails don't get used much so there isn't a real defined line to ride.  On the burly section of big rocks I was making it up as I went and I chose poorly.

I was doing fairly well with some decent speed when I got bumped off the line I wanted and dropped off a big rock to what I thought was a solid place to put my front wheel when to my dismay, the wheel augured in and stopped.  I, unfortunately did not.  As the ground started coming closer and closer to my face I put out my arms to help ease myself in.  It worked, kind of.  I didn't hit the ground as hard as I could have but I went a few feet out and landed on a bunch of rocks.

I'll admit, it was one of the biggest diggers I've taken in a long time.  My elbow, wrist, and shoulder all hurt pretty bad.  My hip hurts a little but not awful.  The biggest thing is that I cracked my helmet when it bounced off a rock.  Yes, my head was in it so I'm a bit headachy.  I was able to get up and ride away.  The bike was fine and I was fine, for the most part.  I'm a little bummed that I need to get a new helmet, but I guess that's why I wear it in the first place.

Land Anchors

This weekend I decided I needed to spend some time being domestic and get some long neglected chores done around my house.  It was going to be a nice weekend and I had lots of projects to work on both indoors and out, so in lieu of riding I figured I could at least still be outdoors, just doing stuff to my house.  It seemed simple enough, and then I started putting together the list of things I wanted to do.

After twelve items were added to my little "to-do" list, I knew I would have an uphill battle.  I have a porch that needs to be painted and new screens built.  I need to start getting the yard ready for winter, which includes stacking firewood.  I need to get the garage cleaned out so I can pull my car in.  I need to clean my house and start getting ready to paint over all the drywall that I've added/patched.  There was also a handful of small things like doing laundry and getting caught up on some bills.  

What I realized is that my house is a giant time suck of projects that I want to do but don't seem to have the time for.  I don't think these projects are too grandiose, but yet they take lots and lots of time and one thing that I'm getting really good at is underestimating how much time.  On the flip side, however, I could have been like Jerry who ate some bad sushi and spent most his night puking his guts out (fortunately not at my house).  That seemed like a fitting way for him to start his week of debauchery in Las Vegas.  

The Trance

So this weekend was busy for me but I decided to carve out some time on Sunday for a few solid miles on my bike.  Since it had rained a bunch on Saturday, Brian and I chose to hit the road and avoid the trails as we expected the rocks might be a little slimy.  Also, the road would allow us to just keep on peddling without him waiting on me.  That wasn't so much good for me but better for him.

As a typical ride with Brian goes, it was a significant effort that meant I would have a soul crushing experience.  It would also involve lots of climbing followed by periods of quality suffering. I expect this when I ride with Brian so it was nothing new or out of the ordinary.  What was unique was a part of this little excursion that I was unfamiliar with.  

It's no secret that I don't ride with many people.  Brian is one of the few.  Normally I'll hang with him for a short while and then he ends up blowing my doors off and I suffer mercifully the rest of the day.  This ride was different, but only in the fact that I was able to hang with him longer, although I don't think it was my ability as much as he was going easy on me.  Because of this, I experienced something that was relatively new to me.  Here's a quick aside:

For those of you that are new to the road bicycling scene, the concept basically goes like this: If you're on the front, ride as fast as you are able.  If you are not on the front, put the front wheel of your bike as close to the rear wheel of the person in front of you without overlapping.  This allows you to stay in the draft and use less energy.  This cache of saved energy can then expend when you are on the front.  When there are only two people riding some of the group dynamic is lost.  Things you would normally not do in the pace line are okay because you're either the first guy in line or the last.  

So there I was, letting Brian pull me along and I was focused on his rear wheel, doing all I could to stay as close as I could.  I was tired, hungry, and had very little water left.  My body was just going through the motions and I was doing all I could to try and stay on his wheel.  If I got dropped I'd be on my own, but on his wheel I still had a chance of surviving.  I started to become fixated on that wheel.  I was watching the hub.  Looking at the tread.  Ignoring the important stuff like the surface of the road.  My head was drooping and I wanted to hold that wheel as long as I could.  It was like being in a trance where the only thing I could focus on was the hum of that wheel spinning along.  I was burying my self on the most pedestrian of rises in the road just to stay close.  I found myself with my jaw slack as I spun my legs as fast and aggressively as could manage, regardless of the pain.

Then, as if it was all a dream, that wheel slowly began to pull away and all I could see in my field of view was the pavement where the wheel I so desperately wanted to stay in contact with use to be.  I had finally popped like a naive balloon that wanted to meet a cactus.  Eventually I made it home, with Brian, but only because he waited, on several occasions.  We logged just over 80 miles and just over five hours.  It was windy.  But I was on my bike again so it was all worth it. 

Take it to the Bank

So Sunday is early this week.  I know that's not actually possible if you're one the few Julian, Lunar, or Hebrew (you're welcome Jerry)  calendaric scholars out there, but it's true.  Of course it's only true if you're one of the more ardent believers in the governmental calendar that gives just about all of us banking types the day off on Monday for Labor Day; therefore tomorrow is my Sunday.  By default, today has been deemed Saturday.  That's right, I get an extra day of being super (and quite possibly the duper; if the mood strikes) awesome.  

Tune in tomorrow for a blog post that will rock your world.  Or maybe one that disappoints.  I guess you'll have to check to see which one it is...

Point Sources

So this weekend I had this great post planned that talked all about Brian and I heading to Raystown to meet up with Jerry, Bunny, and the whole Pittsburgh contingent for some mountain biking and some boating. It was a lot of fun, even though I was unable to keep pace with any of the people I rode with.  Instead, I was presented with a much better post that I will commence now.

After my trip to Raystown on Saturday, I planned to sleep in, drink my coffee, and then do some work around the house on Sunday.  I got a casual start on things that included mowing the grass (for the second time in less than a week), trimming some tree branches, and prepping my porch for an overdue paint job. I also planned to take in one of the last minor league baseball games of the season which meant that I would miss out on a grill session with the neighborhood crew.  As luck would have it, there was a nice solid rainstorm that rolled through the SC allowing me to bag the baseball game and head over to Cathy's for some grilling and football.  Since I was going to be an afterthought for the grilling, I decided I would take a bottle of wine (to go with my PBR and High Life).

As I went into the wine cellar (read: basement) to pick out a nice bottle, I noticed some water at the bottom of the steps.  When I looked in the other rooms around the basement I noticed more water on the floor.  This got me thinking that a pipe had broken and was leaking.  This was unfortunately not the case.  With a little more investigation, I discovered that water was leaking in through one of my basement windows.  Even more important, upon further inspection, I noticed a crack in my foundation below the window that was also allowing water to intrude in my basement.  

While I prepped the vacuum and began to extract the liquid that had accumulated in every room of my cellar, I thought about what might have cause the crack in my foundation.  It came down to two possible options.  One was the earthquake that recently occurred here in the northeast but that seemed unlikely  What I determined to be the more plausible option was the repetitive drilling of massive holes through my house to make way for the new heating and cooling system that has been installed.  Either way, I started to reevaluate my "to-do" list for the house and the foundation repair has managed to make it to the top of the list.  

Fortunately, the crack in the foundation was only part of what occupied my thoughts while cleaning up the basement.  The other thing that consumed me was why, after several years and plenty of significantly more torrential storms, had water filled this window well and overflowed into my basement.  Regardless, I wasn't going solve this issue overnight, and with the water vacuumed up, I decided to grab that bottle of wine and make my way around the corner to grill.  

As I walked around the side of my house I noticed a few things.  One thing I noticed was all the sticks and other debris from the rainstorm that littered my freshly mowed yard.  The other thing I noticed was the downspout that I had moved in order to mow.  The downspout that I moved right next to my basement window and forgot to move back after mowing my yard.  There's nothing like the feeling you get when you realize that the hour and a half you just wasted cleaning up water in your basement was because you decided to directly pipe all the storm water from your roof right into your basement.

Four Horses

So this weekend I played host to Jerry from Pittsburgh and our friend Nate who now lives in Montana. Nate was previously a resident of the SC so he is well versed in the single-track that is Rothrock State Forest, but hasn't been back in a few years to enjoy it.  The main item on our agenda for the weekend was to ride, eat steak, and avoid dude parties.  I was looking forward to getting back on the bike since I'd taken a few weeks off but I was not looking forward to riding with these two individuals because of their bicycling prowess.  To make things more interesting Brian was joining us and to add extra doses of fun Jerry and Nate decided to invite Ryan, one of their former teammates, to join us on our rock garden tour.

Let me break this down for you: Jerry is a cat one road racer and is crazy fast.  I'm not sure if it's from his disproportionally large ass (compared to the toothpicks he calls legs) or his love of queso dip but either way, he's scary strong.  Nate is a cat one road racer (retired) and can ride the wheels off any bike that is provided to him regardless of age, fit, or components.  Ryan is a former masters cyclocross national champion therefore further details or elaboration isn't necessary.  Finally, Brian is just a freak and somehow has the ability to change his riding ability to keep up with whomever he is with and punish them mercifully.  

Then there is me.  As I mentioned earlier, I've spent the last three weeks not riding.  Of course even if I had I would still only be about one fourth as talented as any one of these gentlemen on their worst day.  I felt like I was riding with the four horsemen of the apocalypse, except instead of horses we were on bikes.

Needless to say it was a lot of them waiting around for me and then me falling apart and having to bail. I would have provided pictures of this menacing group of soul crushing individuals, however I was never close enough (or had enough energy) to snap a picture.  Besides, knowing my luck any photo wouldn't turn out since these four guys are borderline inhuman and everyone knows they can't be captured on film.  Overall, however, the ride was super fun but also super humbling.  Someday I hope to actually stay in touch with any of these four on a bike, but I doubt that will ever happen.  Quite frankly I wouldn't want it any other way.

Add One

So this past weekend I made a short trip down the road to Scranton to see some old friends who were visiting from Atlanta.  The reason for this outing was that Sean's parents decided to throw he and his wife Lucy a baby shower.  You see, in order to have a baby shower one needs to have a baby.   If you're paying attention, that would mean that Sean and Lucy are expecting a child; their first one; in about a month.  

This was not your typical baby shower as Sean's parents invited both men and women to this event.  It also was not your typical baby shower because while there were fancy finger foods and spritzers, there was also bonfires, clay bird shooting, and beer drinking; not necessarily in that order.  It was actually one of the best baby showers I have ever been to.  In full disclosure though, I think it was the only baby shower I have ever been to as well.  

While at this baby shower having all this fun, I got to thinking.  The groundbreaking thought that I had was that maybe I should have a baby.  Okay, let's not get carried away.  I'm not planning to, nor am I in any position to have a baby, so relax.  That's not going to happen.  

Instead, I was thinking that maybe I should get a dog.  Dogs are kind of like children, except they can't take care of themselves so if I were to get a dog it would always need me to take care of it.  Yeah that's right, I'm considering getting a built in need factory.  I realize it sounds a bit crazy and for those of you that know me it quite possibly is insanely nuts, but you never know, maybe it will be good for me.

Slothy Blah

It might not be completely obvious when people first meet me but I like to think that I'm a fairly active person.  While I like to think that I'm more active than most of the people in this increasingly rotund country of ours, lately I've been feeling more doughy than normal.  There are several factors that I attribute this trend, however I think it's about time reverse this (hopefully) momentary lapse in fitness.

I feel like most of this started about a month ago when I started hanging out with a girl.  We would get together and have some drinks or have some food or go to a movie or just hang out.  I was foregoing time that I would normally spend on my bike to spend time with her which was not good for my midsection.  This was then followed by a vacation (of sorts) to Florida where I spent a week eating, drinking, and sitting on the beach.  Sure I was riding my cruiser around but it provides surprisingly little fitness when your main goal is trying to go "no hands and no feet" for as long as you can.  

Now that I'm back to my normal day-to-day in the SC it seems as though I've had some trouble getting back to being active.  I've been bogged down with work stuff and meetings, I've been trying to finish up some house projects, and it's been raining a bunch over the past few weeks.  All of this has kept me from my bike and therefore kept me from getting back in shape.  Unfortunately the next few weeks are going to be difficult for me to carve out some time to be active, but I'll have to do what it takes so I can get back on the bike, get back to eating normal, and hopefully get back to fitting comfortably in my pants.  

The Joys of Travel

So last week I was off with Jerry, Bunny, and others on a little vacation away.  We winged it down to Key West to stay at Shady Bill's condo right on the beach.  Like most vacations, it had it's ups and downs.  In particular, the traveling back from the trip was quite possibly the least enjoyable.  I booked my flights later so I was traveling solo on the return leg back to Pittsburgh.  So after one delayed flight and one cancelled flight I changed airlines.  

This was followed by an early arrival at a connecting airport and the anticipated early arrival back to Pittsburgh.  This was followed by about a three hour delay in the airport and about an hour and a half sitting on the tarmac waiting to depart.  

This final hiatus from departure led to a flight through a thunderstorm (which was both nerve wracking and fascinating all at the same time).  After arriving about three hours after I was originally expected to land, I was greeted by an hour and a half bus ride to downtown Pittsburgh where I met Jerry for a ride back to his house.  

The last leg of the trip was my drive back to the SC.  It was a lot of travels and I'm basically crushed.  I'll be sure to provide my assessment of the trip later, but for now, as you may expect, the traveling was not the highlight.  

Step by Step

So this weekend I decided to drop in on my friends Jerry and Bunny in their fair city of the 'burgh.  I'm not entirely sure why, but for some reason Bunny wanted to run a 5K in a ridiculously thick heat.  I'm not saying it was humid, but at one point I actually had to borrow a knife in order to cut through it.

I'm not a runner and have no intentions to run (unless I'm being chased) so I guess I don't entirely understand the mentality.  If it's anything like racing bicycles, then I suppose there is some degree of sense to it all, except it seems to be a lot more work.  Of course my personal feelings about running don't really matter because Bunny crushed the course and ran her fastest mile splits in the entire storied history of her running career.  

I guess it just goes to show that once again, I have a lesser degree of motivation than a lot of people; even those named after a small, furry, and big eared animal. Either way Bunny, you kicked some tail (pun intended...). 

Tchotchke-Fest

So part of last week and into the past weekend was the annual festival in the SC where people from all over the country come to town and try to sell their "art."  Fortunately for these people  two things hold true.  Art is very subjective and apparently a whole hell of a lot of people seem to like spending a lot of money on bric-a-brac.  

While I do enjoy browsing around the various booths to see what people have to display, the majority of these knickknacks are much more high-brow then my simpleton way of life will allow.  To put it another way, unless you're planning to spend between roughly $75 and $250 for a metal flower, a bird feeder, a wooden spoon, a purse made from an old couch, or a hand carved rock then you might want to stay away from this particular event (and that's just the low end of the price spectrum).  Sure, there are a lot of really great gewgaw that someone spent a lot of time creating, but about 98% of it is priced beyond what I'm comfortable shelling out (kettle corn not included).  

While there are some trinkets that I would consider buying, the biggest reason (aside from laying out the cash) is that I don't know what I would do with my purchase of choice.  Most of the bauble seems like something that I would just display on a table or in some corner of my house.  Then it just becomes one more item that I'd have to dust, and with all the mess I've been making in my house lately I don't need anything else to capture dust.  That would just be as foolish as spending $175 on an eight inch wooden plate.

A Tale of Two (Bike) Races

Now that I've reached the end of the week, I have a better perspective on my bicycle racing career.  As I mentioned previously, I had a road race and a mountain bike race occurring over the past week.  The following will be a recap of how things went and the lessons I've learned along the way.

First, the road race.  This occurred on Wednesday.  I had to drive a lot, wake up early, and bury myself trying to finish.  It was very hot, there was a crosswind all day long, and it was really exposed.  The temperatures were flirting with the nineties all day which made it difficult.  I started out well and was hanging with the lead group after the field spilt, but that didn't last long.  I got dropped but kept going and managed to at least get a result.  I ended up last, but at least that's better then the 22 people that didn't finish at all.

This race made me realize that it's entirely possible that I'm cut out to be a road racer.  It requires a specific type of training that I haven't done, therefore I typically crack early and have trouble hanging on.  Maybe this off-season I'll get serious and make a concerted effort to at least be competitive, but I'd say this year is shot. 

Advance a few more days to Saturday and there I was lining up for a mountain bike race.  Like Wednesday's race, it was hot, except it was possibly hotter.  I realized this shortly after the halfway point when I was coming unglued in a very exposed section of trail across the top of the ridge.  It was beyond uncomfortable as there was no shade, a hot breeze, and solid humidity.  After slumming for a while and cursing the fact that I was doing this race I found reprieve when I made a turn to do the final fire road climb and saw Jeff, hanging out, with a cooler of beer.  My race companion (Frank) and I stopped, sat down, and relaxed with a icy cold High Life.  It was quite simply perfect at that point in my day.

I managed to catch a second wind (and maybe a slight buzz) because I started feeling really good.  I cruised up the last road climb, got into the single-track, and started floating through like I had just started the race.  After a quick stop at the aid station I hammered out the last bit of single-track and ended up with this:

Granted, this was only a result in my class, but it was my first podium and it was kind of awesome.  It was my first taste of success on a bike and I liked it.  Now I know a bit about how Jerry feels with all his podiums, but I'm glad I don't know how he felt yesterday in his race.  At least this time I can't be held responsible if the bike is broken.

One Step Closer

So as most things go with my home improvements, this last round has been taking significantly longer than I've wanted or even hoped.  Fortunately though, this past weekend I finally got a nice reward for all the hard work I've been putting in lately.  My central air was plumbed, filled, and turned on.  And this was not a moment too soon as the entire weekend was blistering hot. 

Now that I was finally comfortable being in my own home, I was able to think about other things like all the cleaning I still had to do and a few races I have coming up.  I plan to compete in the Pennsylvania State Road Racing Championships in a few days and hit up a local mountain bike race over the next weekend.  I know what you're probably thinking.  "What has this clown done to earn a bid into the PA state road championships?"  "Is he that fast and talented on his bike?"  

The answer to those questions would be: any hack with a bike, and enough money to cover the entry fee can compete in the championships.  The only requirement for winning this prestigious distinction is to be the highest placed Pennsylvanian in your particular category.  You can technically finish DFL but if you are the only person from PA in that race then WOOPIE(!) you've just won a state road race championship.  The answer to the second question from above (remember, there were two) is no.  I am definitely not, but I met the requirements to question one so it looks like I'm in.

I'm fairly certain I'm not at all prepared for this road race but I'll give it a go and see what I can do.  Who knows, maybe things will work to my advantage and I'll be able to pull some magic out of my hat (or helmet in this case).  The mountain bike race will be a little more relaxed for me.  I don't know how much actual "racing" I'll do but I'll give it solid effort.  Fortunately it's in my backyard and I know the trails well enough to know how hard to go out.  Either way though, I'll have the satisfaction in knowing that at the end of the day, I'll be sleeping in pure air conditioned bliss.

Take Two

So in my last post I talked about using a giant hammer drill to cut a giant hole in my house.  I, for some unknown reason, was under the assumption that the pain and suffering I endured during that grind-fest was a one-time thing.  Clearly, I was woefully misguided in that thought.

So one of the many things I did over this past weekend was to cut not one, but three more holes in my house.  Fortunately for me, the holes were only two and a half inches instead of four but the tools of the trade were the same (see last post for pictures).  I keep telling myself that this is saving me money on the install of my central heat and air, but I'm beginning to question if this part was worth the fact that I can't barely feel anything from my elbows to my hands nor anything below the knees.  

Bottom line: cutting holes through stone is difficult at best.  I spent two hours on each hole (that was six hours if you're having trouble with the numbers, Jerry).  It was noisy, dusty, and very uncomfortable (see last sentence from the previous paragraph).  I think I'm finally done "saving money" on this endeavor and can now turn things over to the professional to finish the work.  At this point I'm hoping it gets crazy hot so I can sit inside and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

The Grind

So I'm full-on into several house projects that have all seemed to come together at once.  I started by installing duct work so I could have central heat and air put in.  That involved cutting a lot of holes in the floors and creating a significant mess.  Before I could cut the holes, however, I needed to remove the baseboard heaters and thermostats that were throughout my house.  This left multiple electrical boxes that needed to be removed from the walls and therefore lots of holes needed to be patched.  If you've ever done drywall then you know that this can only adds to the mess.  

While all of this was going on my dryer decided to shoot craps and stop throwing off heat.  I tried a few things but ultimately ended up with a new dryer.  This, of course, meant that I could correct an issue that has been bothering me since I bought the house; that being the vent location for the dryer.  I thought it would be a good idea to vent the new dryer out of the exterior wall instead of through the basement window.  I wasn't quite sure how this was going to happen since my house is made of stone, but I was naively optimistic I'd figure something out.  Well, I did.  

The stone is about eight inches thick.  Luckily I was able to use this:

 

To do this:

I was fortunate enough to borrow a beast of a hammer drill with a tungsten-carbide cutter bit.  I spent about an hour and a half drilling through my house.  It was a lot of work but was easier than I thought.  Now I can get back to completing the mess inside my house that will be lots of drywall dust.  

It's not the Speed

So a little while back I mentioned the fact that I was making an attempt at being a bike racer again.  Well, that hasn't gone nearly as well as I would have hoped and, since I haven't raced since the end of April, I'm beginning to think that this "race season" may be a wash.  It basically comes down to the basic realization that I'm not fast.  And if you've ever tried to race anything; a bike, a car, a potato sack; being fast is kind of important.  

Since I'm not fast and probably won't get fast enough over the next few weeks to start racing for real anytime soon, I've decided that I should just ride as many miles as I can.  This happened again this past weekend when Brian, Scott, and I decided to do the Renovo loop.  This little spin would take us on a really scenic, yet deceptively hilly 103 mile trek.  I've done this ride several times, and yet I somehow forget how much I don't like certain parts of it.

The bottom line is this - it was a lot of climbing; a lot of wind for the last 25 miles; a potential wrong turn that worked out okay in the end; and Scott gutting out the whole thing with a significant chest cold.  I keep telling myself that rides like these are beneficial to my racing aspirations as I'm building base, but in the end, I'm just happy that I got my June hundy out of the way early so I can take it easy until July.  

Improvements

Well, after many more hours than I expected, many more cuts on my hands than I expected, and significantly more dust than I expected, my house is finally ducted and ready for the professionals to take over and install my furnace and air conditioning unit.  While I'm glad I did the work myself because I saved a goodly bit of money (at least I think I did), I now know why my HVAC guy was more than happy to let me do the ducting.  It's incredibly more time-consuming than I expected and not nearly as fun as it sounds.  Of course, when the heat sets in later this summer I'll enjoy the cool comfort of the indoors and know that I made it possible.

Crushing Souls

For the avid readers of this blog, you may have heard me talk about my friend Brian.  While Brian and I don't hang out that much anymore now that he is new father, we still manage to get out for a ride every now and again.  This weekend was one of those times.  Since it was going to be extra warm and humid with chances for rain, we figured it would be a good time for a big ride. 

As per usual, Brian identified a nice long ride that had a few brutal climbs and plenty of rollers.  Also, to keep things interesting, our route would include very few places to stop for food or water so we had to take extra sustenance with us.  This is the typical kind of ride plan that we end up with so I shouldn't be surprised by it, but for some reason I still am.

So the long and short of our day was this: we left just before noon so we could enjoy the heat of the day.  We climbed over several mountains and rolled through several valleys.  We somehow managed to dance around what must have been a severe thunderstorm and only had periods of drizzle with wet roads.  We logged 112 miles, 6000 feet of climbing, several cases of water over the road, and spent about seven and a half hours in the saddle.  

It was a long and grueling day to say the least.  I spent an hour and a half cleaning all the grit off of my bike but after it was all said and done, I have to admit that it was worth it.  Of course, I haven't been able to feel my legs for two days so maybe that has something to do with it too.

Happy Memorial Day!

Rule of Three

So I have this theory.  I'm not a fancy scientist like some of my other friends (yeah I'm talking about you Nikki) so my theory might actually be a hypothesis, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.  My theory goes like this: Any home related project you decide will be more cost effective to "complete" yourself instead of paying a professional to do will result in a minimum of three trips to your local home store.  It doesn't matter what you need or think you need; a bolt, a box of galvanized screws, one washer, an air compressor; you will eventually find yourself at a home-store at least three times before  you can fully begin your frugal project.

I know this theory to be fairly accurate because I tested it this past weekend.  My father came to town (as he so graciously does from time-to-time) to help me with a significant house project.  I decided it would be a good idea to install ducting in my house so I can install a gas furnace and replace my electric baseboard heat.  As a bonus, this new ducting could also accommodate air conditioning; and that's reason enough for me to take on such a project.  It didn't seem like a difficult task since my house is only one story and all the infrastructure would be in the basement so I invited my father up for a weekend of fun, merriment, and heavy lifting.  

Well, after a screaming hot start on Saturday morning, things slowed to a crawl.  The long and short of it is this: we spent fifteen hours working on Saturday and another eight working on Sunday (before I sent my father home).  We made four trips to various home stores (all on Saturday); we destroyed one "professional" drill; we (meaning I) spent a bunch of money buying new tools and other tool accessories; we cut five holes in my floor (out of fourteen); we managed to hang about twelve feet (out of a total of about fifty feet) of duct.

The saving grace is that this weekend was blue bird days in the high seventies, so ideal for outdoor activity.  Fortunately we were solidly held-up in my basement so we avoided any chance of enjoyable outdoor activities.  Lucky for me we didn't get anywhere close to finishing so I'll get lots more cellar time in the near future.  Sun exposure can be rough you know...

Hello Ladies

Today is Mother's Day.  I know that because it says so on my calendar.  This is the one day out of the year where moms all over the world get to sit back, relax, and forget all their responsibilities for the entire day.  Typically, the men in their lives take care of all the day-to-day activities so that moms can have the day off.  Personally, I think giving moms even one day off every year is entirely too much.

The way I see it, moms are typically the voice of reason and keep us menfolk out of trouble.  Sure, I had some disagreements with my mother when I was growing up and some punishments were handed down but it was typically for my own good.  I would accept my sentence even when my mother was completely wrong.  The bottom line is, we need moms to do their mom-thing twenty four hours a day.  Some of the people I know can do some amazingly ridiculous things in just one day and need that motherly supervision all the time (It's possible that I might fall into this category).  

So for all the current and future moms out there, thanks for everything.  We couldn't do it without you and you should be celebrated every day of the year; not just one Sunday in May.  Luckily, Father's Day is far enough away that I can probably recycle this post.  After all, dads are kind of important too.  

Super Duper

This weekend saw several events.  First, there was a super moon.  I'm not entirely sure what makes it so super but I know it was full and that made it pretty cool.  Second, there was a birthday; Cathy's in particular.  Finally, it was Cino de Mayo.  That doesn't have any significance to me, but I guess if we needed another reason to celebrate than so be it.

So Saturday, with the culmination of all these events, a group of us decided to go out into the woods and camp.  We headed to an area that has a great overlook whereby we could enjoy the full moon, have some cake, and drink some margaritas.  It was a perfect night for camping with an amazing moon that was so bright that it seemed like the sun was out.  

The best part about this particular trip was the fact that  I slept like a rock.  There is something about sleeping out in the woods, near a fire, that really works well for sack time.  I guess all the celebrating (read: tequila heavy margaritas) didn't hurt either. 

The Chase

Racing bikes is not easy; by any stretch.  

When you get shelled out the back of an 80 person field after the third corner; nothing good happens.  Quite frankly it demoralizing.  It's like expending every bit of energy you have just to hang on, only to get flagged out because you're either "Going to get lapped" or "Not in contention" for the win.  Either way you cut it; it sucks.  

Fortunately Jerry and Caroline are gracious hosts and let Colin and myself stay at their home.  Of course after getting destroyed during the sanctioned event you have to make sure not to take things easy because you just get clipped on the ride home.  Even when you don't know where you are or how to get where you want to be.  It's easy to get lost in the Burgh' and sometimes you get your finger crushed trying to find your way out.  

You just have to be careful I guess.

Dreams

Once upon a time, I had these grand allusions that I was going to be a bike racer.  Like most fairy tales, this particular bit of fiction makes much more sense in my mind than in reality.  Sure I've done a handful of races back in the day but it's been a few years since I've gotten my race license and spent the time or effort to train for competition.  Well, for the past month, Jerry has been guilting me into entering a race this coming weekend and for some unknown reason I think I'm going to do it.

In the past when I've raced, my season typically wouldn't start until sometime in mid May when I've had time to log a bunch of miles in the saddle.  While I've been riding a lot lately I haven't been doing the types of rides that will get me conditioned to do a good ole fashioned four corner crit.  Needless to say I'm nervous and unsure about what will happen.

The main race is on Sunday but to make things more interesting there is a track race at the "Bud" that I think I'm going to have to do as well.  I've never raced on a track before, but then again I've never raced back-to-back days before either.  If nothing else, this will be a humbling experience and a welcome foray back into the world of bike racing; if only for a dose of reality to make me feel slow.

Back to Basics

Now that I have a bit more free time in my day-to-day since I'm no longer trying to date a (maybe) anti-Semite, I decided it would be a good idea to get back to my roots and back onto my bike.  Fortunately the weather was cooperating and Sunday turned out to be a great day for a ride.  Well, only half of it was great for riding.

Brian and I decided to head out and spend about four hours on the bike.  This would give us a solid day and still allow me some time to take care of a few things around the house.  Things were going great on the way out as we had a wicked tailwind to push us along.  We were making great time rolling along much faster than we should have been.  Things got a little dicey when we started our return trip.

See, the tailwind turned into a solid headwind and we were getting buffeted by crazy amounts of wind.  It was brutal to say the least.  Fortunately Brian is taller than I am so I spent a lot of the ride back tucked into his draft allowing him to do all the work.  Sure it's a bit selfish but it was still plenty of work for me to try and keep up with him.  

When we finally ended our ride we had logged about six hours on the bikes and managed to get in just over 100 miles.  Right now, however, my legs feel like wet noodles and are on the verge of cramping every time I move.  Hopefully this will prove to have some benefit when I attempt a race a the end of the month.  Of course that assumes I'll recover from today's outing.

Dating Days; Part 6

I’ll assume it comes as no surprise to anyone that after last week’s debacle of an outing, I had to bid farewell to Estelle.  She said some things that weren’t all together appropriate and I can’t really see that continuing down a good road. While ending the relationship seemed like an easy choice, I wasn’t expecting it go the way it did.  See, I figured that since it took so long to get Estelle to go out with me, she would be more than happy to let me go.  That was, unfortunately, not the case.  

After I broke the news to Estelle I was met by some exacerbated disagreement.  She was beside herself to say the least and was quite shocked to be hearing me end things with her.  In an odd twist, it turns out that the past five weeks had made Estelle start to like me more than she expected.  It was actually more than I expected too because the day after I ended things with her she called me and asked for another chance.  It was kind of surreal.

For the next several days she would call and I would foolishly answer only to hear her talk about what a mistake she made and that I should give her another chance.  I resisted the urge to go out with her again and continued to politely let her down.  I knew things were getting way out of control when Estelle’s roommate Diane called me.  I guess Estelle was more upset with this turn of events than I expected.

After talking with Diane for a few minutes and hearing her side of this story I was reluctantly convinced to get together with her.  It was the typical, “Estelle is a better person than you think and I’ll tell you why” routine.  I figured I could handle a  Saturday afternoon coffee with Diane and hoped that this might end things once and for all.  It had already been a long week of breaking things off with Estelle and I was ready for it to be over for good.

Saturday I met up with Diane at the local coffee shop and after a few minutes of listening to her I realized two things.  First, I wasn’t going to go out with Estelle anymore because she, like most women, had a touch of the crazies (sorry ladies but it’s true to some degree with all of you).  Second, and maybe most importantly, Diane is spectacular.  I think I might see if Diane wants to go out for dinner sometime.  Of course I might be better off taking a break from the ladies for a bit.